Choices

3/4/2018

Is it sinking in yet?

The gravity of your decision?

I was left behind.

And you’re gone.

Saying you had no other choice.

I fail to believe that.

But today I wonder.

If you’ve understood.

All that you’ve left behind.

I will move on.

No matter the strain.

Becuase I must.

It hurts more these days

to see your name. To see your face,

to hear your voice on my screen.

You can’t hold the hand of a screen.

It won’t embrace my waist and make me feel safe.

Do you know all that you left behind?

I don’t want you to hurt.

But I want you to know.

You made a decision, a choice to let go.

So I wonder

when that realization will sink in.

The responsibility to stand by the choice you took.

why.

i miss you.

But my tears are slowing.

And less are falling.

Because each time we talk, the pain in my chest is opened again.

A wound that wants to heal.

Wants to learn from what we had.

I love you.

I will always have a place in my heart for you.

But you left.

And I have to move forward without you…

I just never anticipated the pain of knowing,

I will have to forget the small things.

Because today, they hurt too much to remember.

My throat tightens when I write this,

I’m not ready to let go.

I want you to come back.

I want to come to visit you.

I want you to tell me,

that you want to see me again.

Tonight all I see are pictures,

and we both know that’s not enough.

I deserve more.

I just want you to feel the immensity of the love you left behind.

You won’t find another person like me.

I have too much to offer you.

Maybe you know,

that’s why you chose to go.

Maybe you were too scared to stay.

But my sweet lil chip,

each choice has a cost.

and I just don’t know if you’ve come to terms with that.

I need love.

and I want you.

Not forever.

Just longer.

But today I just know,

It’s too hard (just yet)

To let go.

❤

#love